Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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