sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Screwed.edu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
