I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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