I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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