Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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