After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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