If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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