Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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