It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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