Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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