lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
