Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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