The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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