we're chasing vodka with high fives
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
