these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
FUCK WHALES
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
