my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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