you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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