You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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