DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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