You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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