next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
