If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize