Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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