Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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