every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
