she looked like the before picture.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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