Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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