ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize