kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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