uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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