If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We smell like vodka and hangover
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
