the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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