I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
