i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
try to milk me bitch
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