i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
