So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just cut my nipple shaving
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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