Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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