I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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