I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
