I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
