there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
