I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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