she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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