Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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