Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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