Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
