The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
