Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
