Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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