He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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