The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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