there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Enjoy the penises
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize