And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
