I'm going to jail i love you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
