I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
