Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
