im drinking this country out of the recession.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you didnt know i had herpes?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize