You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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