I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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