I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
