Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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