remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
