**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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