Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
