Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..