this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.