I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...