I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.