I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!