i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
