Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

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  (905): Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have. http://tfl.nu/x1lg
  Replies (8) Good night (619) Bad night (2025) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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  (413): apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be! http://tfl.nu/gcwe
  Replies (18) Good night (965) Bad night (2491) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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  (504): once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead. http://tfl.nu/caf0
  Replies (6) Good night (4000) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?

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  (914): Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later? http://tfl.nu/xxzo
  Replies (20) Good night (4549) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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  (805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6
  Replies (5) Good night (3287) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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  (239): MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned. http://tfl.nu/x1yo
  Replies (6) Good night (1119) Bad night (2478) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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  (403): When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain? http://tfl.nu/0j3p
  Replies (13) Good night (4940) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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  (828): You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt http://tfl.nu/0h7j
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (2697) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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  (203): I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest. http://tfl.nu/16wx
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.

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  (516): If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar. http://tfl.nu/qpqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  It's been a bad semester.

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  (320): I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill... (1-320): It's been a bad semester. http://tfl.nu/n3pf
  Replies (9) Good night (890) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1058) Bad night (261)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying

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  (401): you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying http://tfl.nu/yu84
  Replies (5) Good night (1302) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.

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  (720): Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay. http://tfl.nu/q60w
  Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

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  (708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt

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