hotel room ftw
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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